They're Losing Their Fucking Minds, Part 1:
So Barack Obama, openly pro-choice, openly pro-gay rights (not totally, but let's take it for now), and openly tossing the Bush administration onto the shitpile and setting it on fire, warming himself from the flames, has been in office nearly four days. And the right has lost its fucking mind. They don't know what to do. It's kind of hysterically pathetic, like watching a man driving a car that's grinding gears and squealing brakes and he turns up the radio so he can't hear the noise. Dude, the car's fucked.

For instance, the Family Research Council's Super-Duper Prayer Team has been called upon to pray so hard, with our eyes and assholes clenched tight, that Obama and Congress magically transform into something else, like they're just frogs that need a princess's soft lips to become princes of the Lord. The Rude Pundit joined the SDPT under a nom de rude and he receives weekly prayerilingus orders from the FRC's National Prayer Director, a title that is a little like "Chief Klingon Speaker." We've been ordered to bend over and give it up for God to stop Obama's policies on abortion: "May God miraculously change our new President's heart to abandon his abortion plans! May He give pro-life Congressmen supernatural will and effective political strategies to withstand and defeat these death-dealing plans!" And if God doesn't change Obama's heart, does that mean we should just chill? That our prayers are annoying the fuck out of him? Since you can make up any shit you like and say that God believes it, the Rude Pundit will answer his questions with a knowing nod.

Demonstrating the churchward drift of what was once called "mainstream conservatism," Kathryn Jean Lopez over at the National Review Online's blog gives a high-five to the desires of the SDPT, when, at the March for Life, she observes, "It’s a beautiful thing to see how many of this crowd — and so many pro-life religious folks I’ve encountered – are praying for Barack Obama. They love their country and want better for it than legal abortion. They know the power of prayer, and if anything could make him reconsider abortion..."

This is how bugfuck they're becoming (let's not even get into what's going on at the other nutzoid conservative blogs). All they have left is to pray to an invisible sky wizard to intercede on their behalf, that some godly hoodoo, some Jesus-y magic, will make it all better for them. And when you realize that most people in the country have told you and your party to shove it up your asses, all you can do is sit on your knees.

(Side note: One of the things the Rude Pundit's been loving about these first few days of the Obama presidency is how the President is saying, "Fuck you" to everyone who talked about how hard it would be to do the things that he's doing, how, if he saw what the Bush people saw, he'd change his mind. Nope. Full speed ahead.)