10/22/2004

Why Sean Hannity Needs To Be Force-Fisted By Alan Colmes:
The bloated Jesus-lovin' hatemonger's strong, manly jaw must be sore for how long he had Dick Cheney's semi-flaccid cock in his mouth during his "interview" with the Vice-President, asking Satan such valuable questions as, "Do you believe John Kerry on the stump and John Edwards on the stump, when they bring up issues about a private plan of privatized Social Security, suppress the black vote or bring back the draft, do they know in their heart that that's not true?", questions guaranteed to get hard-hitting, informative answers. Satan gleefully repeated that all allegations were "fundamentally untrue," a statement that went unchallenged time and again by Hannity, who was too busy coughing out grey pubes to ask a follow-up.

Then, when he "interviewed" Democratic Senator Mary Landrieu, Hannity tore into her like a rabid beaver on a sapling. When Landrieu, invited on to offer some illusion of "balance" in the whole lie of Fox's "fair and balanced" coverage, attempted to comment on the debate after Hannity asked her about Mary Cheney's well-known clam eating, Hannity cut her off and demanded that she answer him. When introducing Landrieu, Hannity said, "Good to see you, Senator. We always appreciate having you on the program," but after Landrieu called the "interview" an "infomercial" for the Bush/Cheney campaign, Hannity said, "I think you're a lousy senator, okay?" And then he told Landrieu that Kerry's been invited to come on the program. In the corner, the corpse-like Alan Colmes weeped bitterly as he self-flagellated with a bullwhip, smacking himself over and over as penance for his sins while Rupert Murdoch threatened a mother kangaroo's joey with beheading should Colmes actually interrupt and say that maybe, oh, golly, gee, Hannity is wrong. Roger Ailes giggled as he jacked off in the control room.

Instead, though, the segment continued, with Landrieu trying to give an answer as Hannity said, over and over, "Answer the question," as if there was some deep-hidden truth to be gained by hearing what a Senator from Louisiana had to say about Dick Cheney's gay daughter. Somewhere, the gigantic tide of karmic shit that's flowing towards the United States got a little bit bigger.