Boobies All Around:
Sometimes you've got yourself a hot fuckin' girlfriend who fucks you over left and right. She treats you like shit, country music-style, fucks around with all your friends, takes your money. But you're easily distracted from all of this because she likes to show you her tits. Whenever you start to get wind of all her betrayals, she just shows you her tits and you forget all about it. Goddamn, those're some pretty titties. (If you're a gay guy or a straight woman, replace "tits" with "giant cock" and you've got the idea.)

And so it is with the Bush administration, who, just when you think the tide is finally turning, they strip off the bra and say, "But look at these tits? Don't you love the boobies?"

Check out this rack: The President's radio address about the gay marriage amendment is full of indignation against judges who impose their "arbitrary will" on the country. And Bush gets all faux preachy: "[B]ecause families pass along values and shape character, traditional marriage is also critical to the health of society. Our policies should aim to strengthen families, not undermine them. And changing the definition of traditional marriage will undermine the family structure." Except, as always with this debate, Bush never shows us how that definition change would undermine anything. As the Rude Pundit has said, this whole debate comes down to this: Conservatives fear the cock. And they fear the idea that two women could be perfectly happy with no cock involved. It's complicated.

But do you see what just happened there? Bush said, "Look at these titties" and all we thought about was nuzzlin' those nipples, forgetting about how many times we've been dicked over since the last time the titties were trotted out.