12/16/2020

Now Donald Trump Is Suing a State He Lost Bigly

You will not be surprised that soon-to-be not-President Donald Trump hasn't given up his pursuit of a victory in the 2020 election through state and federal courts. I'd call his effort "quixotic," but, really, there was a better chance that Don Quixote's windmills were giants than that Trump can do anything other than continue to lose case upon case. It's as if he gets some sexual thrill off the decisions against him, like when a judge bitch slaps his lawyers, Trump gets a raging chubby in his choad and can finally get Jared to jack him off. Even better is when that judge is one he appointed. Holy shit, that's the kind of quality debasement you can normally only get from piss hookers. 

Just kidding. We know this is all, all, all about squeezing the rubes for as much of their cash as Trump can rip from their dirty fingers. He's coveting their greasy dollar bills, rolling around in them like Scrooge McDuck gone hobo.

The latest case was filed on Monday against New Mexico. "What the fuck?" you may rightly ask. "Didn't that inflamed orange cockhole lose New Mexico by over 10 points? Over 100,000 votes?" And you'd still be right when you continued, "Seriously, what the fuck is this? New Mexico's got a Democratic-led legislature, a Democratic governor, and a Democratic secretary of state? The fuck is up with this?"

And, indeed, it's pretty hard to figure this one out. It's about the drop boxes where people could, you know, drop off their ballots, and the idea is to throw the case to the legislature, shitcanning the ballots of the over 900,000 New Mexicans who did vote. But, as I said, the legislature is solidly Democratic. And the Republican Party of New Mexico tried suing over drop boxes before the election but withdrew from the case, prompting the Secretary of State's office to say, "The State GOP acknowledged that drop boxes are legal under New Mexico law and that it was absolutely appropriate for the Secretary of State to provide this safe and efficient option for voters." Also, they were suing over the wrong drop boxes. No, really: "The ballot boxes in question were reportedly drop boxes for other types of county business."

The lawsuit is a mess, as all of these lawsuits have been. For one thing, Trump's legal team flat-out admits that they wouldn't have given a shit about this if Trump had won: "Before the election, the Plaintiff [Trump] had no ripe claim against the Defendants...The Plaintiff could not have brought this action before the election results." Which, okay, fine, but that's not about defending a principle. It's about trying to force-fuck a victory for Trump. The principle wouldn't have mattered if Trump had won, they're saying.

Here's the thing, though: The lawsuit doesn't cite a single case where something was amiss with even a single ballot. It just assumes there must be fuckery where they believe fuckery could exist. It's like saying that you left your front door unlocked one night, so you must have been robbed, even if all your shit is still there. And, as far as the remedy of ignoring all the votes over the potential for some unproven voter fraud, that's ludicrous. Even if there were a couple of cases of someone dropping off a ballot for someone else (one of the lawsuit's big worries), it would be nigh on fucked up to say that means the entire election is invalid. That part is like saying that because the cops caught someone speeding, the whole damn highway should be shut down. Of course, the law doesn't work that way. 

The most frustrating thing about all these lawsuits is that they are based on the presumption that the election should have gone as it normally would have even though we're in the middle of a goddamned pandemic. In other words, the only way to see these filings as legitimate is to buy the Trump administration and the nutzoid right-wing argument the COVID was no big deal and everyone needed to just line up to vote, virus be damned. The lawsuit says, "It is an understatement to say that 2020 was not a good year. In addition to a divided and partisan national mood, the country faced the COVID-19 pandemic. Certain officials in New Mexico presented the pandemic as the justification for ignoring state laws regarding absentee and mail-in voting." 

You got that dickishness there? Like New Mexico just insidiously decided to use the 'rona to fuck up Donald Trump's chances in the state, which he lost in 2016 and which voted for Obama in 2008 and 2012 and Clinton in 2016. And Trump was behind by at least 8 points in every poll leading to the 2020 election. Essentially, the claim is that because New Mexico's state government sent people applications to vote absentee (by mail or drop-off) because it was concerned about people fucking dying, it violated the law, which it didn't

It's stupid. The whole effort is stupid. It's so fucking stupid that Trump's lawyers cite the case of, no shit, What-a-Burger v. Whataburger to make some stupid point in the midst of all this fucking stupidity.

So what's the purpose here? Is it to use New Mexico as an example of Trump suing to defend some principle that then can be applied to other states if he ekes out some kind of victory? Is it because courts in states and districts where he has filed dozens of other lawsuits have told him to knock that shit off so he's gotta find a new court? Is it an attempt to get that charge in his balls of degrading loss one more time? Or is it just another way to continue the grift? The answer, of course, is yes.