On Twitter, Republican candidate and a man who moisturizes his face with cheddar, Donald Trump, tweeted one of his "Thoughts from my shitter," this time about battle strategy. "Just announced that Iraq (U.S.) is preparing for battle to reclaim Mosul. Why do they have to announce this? Makes mission much harder!" he wrote while, no doubt, a Filipino child used eagle feathers and an original copy of the Constitution to wipe his ass.
Trump has used this line of what we might generously call "thinking" before. Often, in fact. It's one of his big talking points, that he has a strategy to take down ISIS but he won't share it because he doesn't want to tip off the enemy, and that Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama just keep announcing their plans and thus they are failures. You gotta wonder if Trump understands that we're not living in the 1940s or even the 1960s anymore. You can't just sneak attack with thousands of troops anymore. There are satellites and drones and other surveillance shit all over the place that will see that you happen to be moving equipment and soldiers and ships and planes into strategic positions prior to an attack. This is not to mention that we're not at war with a nation, so we at least pretend to try not to kill this fuck out of noncombatants.
It seems that knowledge about just about anything for Trump stopped sometime around 1985 or so. When he goes off script at rallies and starts riffing, he sounds like a poor man's Don Rickles trying to make Peter Lawford laugh his ass off at a Dean Martin's Celebrity Roast by insulting Phyllis Diller's looks (google it, children). Trump delighted the crowd in Pennsylvania this weekend by doing broad physical schtick, imitating Hillary Clinton passing out, and heading into insult humor: "I don’t even think she’s loyal to Bill, if you want to know the truth," he said, the idiot hordes reacting in fake shock and utter delight. "And really, folks,” Trump continued, like George Burns with brain damage, “really, why should she be? Right? Why should she be?"
In that same speech, Trump sounded like every stereotypical old man ever when he became a film critic for a moment. "Right now, you say to your wife: ‘Let’s go to a movie after Trump.’ But you won’t do that because you’ll be so high and so excited that no movie is going to satisfy you. Okay? No movie. You know why? Honestly? Because they don’t make movies like they used to — is that right?” No, they don't, motherfucker. They make movies that star black people and Hispanics and even the occasional Asian and, goddamnit, there are female Ghostbusters, probably bleeding from their wherevers while not being afraid of no ghosts.
Seriously, every Trump line not in the teleprompter could end in "ring-a-ding-ding," like he's the last living Rat Pack member, and it would sound exactly the same.
This existence in the past and this desire to turn the nation back to that past comes through most strongly in Trump's sexism. Oh, how he longs for a time when you could tell a woman to shut up because men were talking and you could leer at a hot chick with the big gazongas and an ass so tight you could bounce a nickel off it without fear of being called a "sexist pig." For instance, he thinks that you can fire women for not meeting his standards for attractiveness.
The revelations that Trump was a lewd and harassing piece of shit on the set The Apprentice aren't shocking in the least because Trump, in speech, taste, dress, and decorating approach, isn't living in a time where commenting on the looks of your employees is seen as problematic, if not actionable. Trump would talk about how fuckable a woman was, and he seemed to relish asking men if they would fuck a particular woman, often in front of the woman. Chances are that if you challenged Trump on that, he'd tell you that you're being politically correct and that he hires women and hey, that woman looks like Ivanka, but Ivanka is hotter.
Some of Trump's living in the past is just excusable for a man who is 70. Fuck, fine, call it "cyber," Gramps. But other times, it's just goddamned sinister, as when he says, as he did about prosecuting criminals, "I think we need to go back to a little more old-fashioned method of thinking." What might that mean? Shit, he probably can't tell you because he wants it to be a surprise.
In speech, in manner, in approach to life, Donald Trump is living in the time of the white male dinosaurs, not realizing that the asteroid has already wiped out his way of life.
