Perhaps, at the end of a farcical situation, it's appropriate that a judge named "Marty Feldman" put the final nail in the idiotic coffin. U.S. District Court Judge Feldman, who does not have comically googly eyes and was appointed by Ronald Reagan his own self, told Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal, who does have a comically skinny neck, to stop being such a cockknob and that everyone can get gay married because of the Supreme Court.
In fact, Judge Feldman's order goes full gay. It "specifically requires the state to begin issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples and to recognize the marriage rights of couples who married legally in other states. The ruling also orders the state to allow same-sex couples to jointly adopt children, to have both spouses names placed on birth certificates for their children, and to file joint tax returns." Feldman was responding to a lawsuit filed by a same-sex couple (that sex being "dude") who thought it absurd that they couldn't get a marriage license post-SCOTUS decision.
And, because nothing says, "Fuck your ignorant, arrogant fuckhole" like making someone dish out the cash, Feldman ordered that "plaintiffs in each of these consolidated cases are awarded their costs, expenses, and reasonable attorneys' fees."
So just one day after taking a mighty stand for religious extremism against the secular laws of the nation, Jindal was forced to lick his own sore anus today. "This order directs the agencies to comply and all questions about processing benefits should be directed to them," a spokesperson for Jindal said. Jindal's Alamo had been Orleans Parish, the only place where the state controlled the filing of marriage licenses. Every other parish had complied with the Supreme Court. So it went about as well as the Alamo.
Are we done? Texas? Alabama? Are we gonna need troops sent in to enforce the law, like after desegregation? One can suppose it all depends on a combination of cowardice and cravenness in our politicians. And since we're talking about Republicans running for President, we can expect a pageant of fuckery and lots of bullshit talk of religious independence on Independence Day.
