If you sat there slack-jawed, watching this whole Chick-fil-A debacle get stupider and stupider and you thought, "Huh, what could make everyone involved seem that much worse?" Well, you could say that your prayers have been answered.
Yes, you might have seen the lines of cars and people trying to get the tasty chicken sandwich that is dressed with a urine-tasting pickle slice and, in celebration of Mitt Romney's political positions, waffle fries on V Fil-A Day. That was on Wednesday, when Mike Huckabee, who once wrote a book on eating healthy and losing weight, encouraged everyone who hates gay marriage and loves free speech to gorge on deep-fried food. You might have seen last night's hilarious cock-filled take on the whole episode on The Daily Show. But you might not have seen the prayer circles:
In the restaurants and in the parking lots, all over this great nation of ours, people held hands and prayed, not for the souls of the many, many fallen chickens, but for, well, fuck, who cares?
But lest you think that the non-haters have clean hands, here's Adam Smith, who, when not writing economic treatises, harassed the fuck out of some poor low-wage fast food jockey at a Tucson, Arizona, Chick-fil-A. In a move that obvious dickbag Smith hilariously thought of as his effort to "Stand up" to a corporation, he harangues a woman for not confronting her employer about its stand on gay marriage. Smith does not leave his car to, you know, enter the restaurant. In another glorious twist on free speech, his employer fired him.
Look, the Rude Pundit has boycotted products because of who is associated with them. He has never bought a Snapple because, when it was a small company not owned by Dr. Pepper, it advertised extensively on Rush Limbaugh's radio colonoscopy. He won't buy gas at BP because it ruined the Gulf of Mexico.
But you know what? We lost this one because we did everything that the right often does to publicize something and make it more popular. Chick-fil-A and its homophobic, Christ-fellating CEO made a shit-ton of money and will continue to for a while. And you know what they might do with that shit-ton of money? Perhaps fund more anti-gay rights efforts?
No one is clean here. You like going to the Coachella Music Festival, good West Coast activist hippies? Fuck you. It's owned and promoted by the Anschutz Corporation, whose CEO and founder gives millions to anti-gay marriage forces, far more than Chick-fil-A.
Why waste an ounce of energy kissing and marching outside Chick-fil-A? It's been an ultra-Christian joint since before most of the protesters were born. Instead, worry about changing the laws. Make out in front of members of Congress and state legislatures. And fuck the chicken.
