Memo to Republicans: Don't Write BP a Check You Can't Cash:
First off, let's put this in context: $20 billion over a few years ("$3 billion this summer and $2 billion in the fall, followed by $1.25 billion per quarter until the $20 billion figure is reached," according to MSNBC) ain't gonna wreck a company that made over $6 billion in profit in the first quarter of this year. In fact, it'll barely dent BP. So anyone crying for BP is a capitalist tool. You can bet that even the BP board room ain't crying for BP at this point. They've covered their asses for the time being. Fuck, the stock went up yesterday. At this writing, it's up again today. That's while it still can't stop the goddamned leak. And don't be naive: Barack Obama didn't threaten BP. He asked, "How can we do this so you're not fucked, but you pay the bills? We got it? Good. Now go to Congress and take your lumps."

But, hey, Republicans, tea baggers, and other right wing spoogebuckets, if this is how you wanna play this game, if you wanna call the escrow account a "shakedown" of BP, if you want to give sympathy for the devil, bring it on, motherfuckers. 'Cause when soon-to-be-divorced (certain patterns being fixed and unchangeable) Rush Limbaugh said of the fund, "It is all about extortion by threat of legal hell. And it's redistribution. Where is this money going to go?" he pulled back the sheets and told BP that America should play bottom tonight. You think America wants its ass fucked this time, no matter how lubed up it may be?

Beyond Tony Hayward making British bumbling about for answers, Hugh Grant style, forever odious, and beyond Rep. Joe Barton actually demonstrating how to suck his own cock but being a spitter and not a swallower, the GOP has offered absolute, concrete evidence of just who they give a fuck about: international corporations over American states, shareholders around the world over American fishermen, oil over wetlands and wildlife.

So go ahead, GOP. Keep on with your oh-so-clever "Chicago-style shakedown" bullshit. Keep on with the new fearmongering, that BP will go bankrupt and drag away more jobs. Keep on with the obeisance to your corporate masters. You'll look like those dying, crude-coated fish on the beach, desperately jawing the air for water.

And if Democrats can't turn this into right-wing crushing ads, then they should just lay down next to 'em.