6/04/2009

Why Ann Coulter Is a Cunt, Part 20,122 (Murder Advocacy Edition):
Here's how the Rude Pundit pictures evenings at Ann Coulter's home: Coulter, wearing only a spiked dog collar and a leather bustier with swastikas on the nipples, watches Tivo'd interviews of herself on Fox "news," the only place that'll have her anymore, photo of Joe McCarthy gazing at her from the mantle, a dildo made of her father's femur next to it, her laptop on the glass coffee table in front of her on a bookmarked Amazon page of her latest "book," the better to keep hitting "refresh" so she can manically see the rise and fall of her rankings, sucking down straight scotch from a tumbler, snorting coke off a copy of Godless. She's rubbing her pussy with a riding crop until she's gotten herself good and soppy, and that just sets something off, triggers some impulse in her brain, and she fuckin' loses it. She turns up the volume all the way and she wails like a banshee in the fog at the ceilling. She slams her glass against the table, shattering the top, she grabs one of the larger shards, and she goes to work on her thighs. Fuck, yeah, over just-scarred-over previous wounds, she cuts with one hand and fucks herself with the handle of the riding crop, sometimes taking it out to slap her ass, eventually shoving it in her asshole until she comes and shits and bleeds all over her leather sofa, yelping and barking the entire time, and then laying there in her shit and blood, she grabs the scotch and pours it over her legs, the burn giving her one more sphincter-puckering orgasm. And then she picks up her laptop, brushes the splinters and pieces off it, and gets to work writing.

For in her latest "column" (if by "column," you mean, "see the above"), Coulter doesn't "imply" that doctors who do abortions should. She pretty much says they should be: "If you don't believe in shooting abortionists, then don't shoot one." See? Isn't Coulter's cuntistry clever? She's turning around a pro-choice motto to say that shooting abortion providers should be legal and safe.

As ever, it's useless to argue with Coulter, who in most of the column repeats everything we've heard before, about how recently murdered Dr. George Tiller contributed money to Democrats (which apparently is wrong to Coulter, although we wouldn't want any rules on campaign funding, would we?), and speaks of Tiller as running an "abattoir" to murder babies. For how do you argue with someone who makes this logical leap:

"For years, we've had to hear about the grave threat that Americans might overreact to a terrorist attack committed by 19 Muslims shouting 'Allahu akbar' as they flew commercial jets into American skyscrapers. That would be the equivalent of 19 pro-lifers shouting 'Abortion kills a beating heart!' as they gunned down thousands of innocent citizens in Wichita, Kan."

The levels of the piquant mixture of hate and crazy there are off the chart.

And correcting Coulter is like correcting a cat. Cat don't care, man, cat don't care, and cat owners just think that's endearing, like Coulter's readers. So when Coulter says of Tiller's church (where he was, you know, shot), "The official Web page of the ELCA instructs: 'A developing life in the womb does not have an absolute right to be born,'" you can try. You can say, "Well, actually, the context of the quote is a discussion of rights, and the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America website makes this morally complex statement:

"The language used in discussing abortion should ignore neither the value of unborn life nor the value of the woman and her other relationships. It should neither obscure the moral seriousness of the decision faced by the woman nor hide the moral value of the newly conceived life. Nor is it helpful to use the language of 'rights' in absolute ways that imply that no other significant moral claims intrude. A developing life in the womb does not have an absolute right to be born, nor does a pregnant woman have an absolute right to terminate a pregnancy. The concern for both the life of the woman and the developing life in her womb expresses a common commitment to life. This requires that we move beyond the usual 'pro-life' versus 'pro-choice' language in discussing abortion."

(The whole page is actually a pretty amazing discussion of abortion within a fairly conservative Christian church.)

No, no, all of this is rather useless, other than to say that at some point, someone is responsible for Scott Roeder's act beyond the simple savagery of an individual. Hell, if not O'Reilly, why not Coulter? Especially when she says, "As long as we're deciding who does and doesn't have an 'absolute right to be born,' who's to say late-term abortionists have an 'absolute right' to live?"

Let's end this with a letter from rude reader JC, who is from Wichita, Kansas:
"For some few years I volunteered as an escort at Dr. Tiller’s and several other clinics. I didn’t know the good doctor well, but met with him on several occasions and was impressed with his kindness and the care he obviously felt for the women who needed his services.

"Of course I have been heartbroken by his assassination, but I’m not so full of hate towards his killer. I’ve seen too many of his kind on the lines; in fact I remember seeing him. We knew Mr. Roeder as 'Prom Queen' from the flowers he usually carried there, and the screaming fits he would throw when approached by escorts. He was one of many not-too-bright mentally ill recruited by various self-appointed fundie leaders who groomed them to scream the threats they themselves were so careful not to utter aloud.

"I’m pretty sure that he has been exploited again to shoot Dr. Tiller. I don’t know who is using him this time- when I saw him, he was in Troy Newman’s stable of nuts, but the fundie leaders are an incestuous bunch who tend to swap followers as needed.

"According to papers Roeder filed today, his possessions amount to a 16yr.-old Taurus and $10, and he only works occasionally at minimum-wage jobs. Yet he managed to finance several 400-mile round trips to Wichita from the KC area in the last month to case the church and know Dr. Tiller by sight, bought a handgun, gas and meals etc. Also, he asked- begged- for bail to be set today, despite his total lack of assets. Obviously, the poor bastard expects someone to post it, all of which leads me to believe that he is not the solitary nutcase the fundies claim he is.

"Somebody had to put him up to it, help him plan it and pay his expenses, and will now feed him to the sharks. Hopefully, and maybe with a bit of psych help, he will realize how he was used and name names."