In Brief: The Al-Marri Decision Tells Bush To Show His Dick:
Here's one of those things that the Rude Pundit can't wrap his head around: say you're a guy at a small, friendly gay bar, say Mona's in Fort Lauderdale, one that's got a cozy, Cheers-like quality to it, except if, you know, Sam was bangin' Woody in his office. And there's this other dude, call him "Norm," to go with the whole analogy. Now, Norm has told everyone that he's got a monster cock. The kind of cock that'd make a stallion say, "Not bad, not bad at all." Thing is, there's a whole lot of guys in the bar who, while perhaps doubting, perhaps believing Norm, are willing to give Norm the benefit of the doubt. Hey, dude wants to say he's got a big cock, fine - it ain't like he's fucking your ass. But at some point, someone's going to say to Norm, "Okay, buddy, it's time. Take that bad boy out and blow a load in my face." Norm's gotta put up or shut up. Whether or not Norm's actually got the ginormous meat stick ain't the point. It's that finally, at the end of the day, the truth will be revealed, and Norm can either go back to his usual seat, confident in the knowledge that his dick's like a Louisville slugger for midgets, or it's time for him to slink off to another bar, maybe Bill's Filling Station.

What the Fourth Circuit Court of Appeals said to the Bush administration yesterday was "Drop your drawers, motherfuckers." In ruling that mullet-rific detainee Ali al-Marri had to be charged with something or let go, the majority was letting the White House know that judicial process and adherence to the Constitution cannot be sustained on rumor, innuendo, and "because I say so."

Here's the part that just boggles the Rude Pundit: the Fifth Amendment's pretty fuckin' clear on this whole issue of detaining someone who is legally in the United States: "No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a grand jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the militia, when in actual service in time of war or public danger." Yet Judge Henry Hudson, a Bush appointee, seemed to think that this just didn't matter in his dissent. And neither, of course, does the Bush administration, which sees the Constitution as just another asshole who'd dare question how big they say their cock is.