Bush-Fluffin' With Matthew Dowd (Fox "News" Edition)(Now With Updated Goodness):
Here's former Bush campaign strategist, Republican pollster, and Fox "news" Conttributor Matthew Dowd described his man back in December 20, 2005 on Hannity and Colmes: "I think the American public -- and from what I've seen, from what the public responds to -- they want a president that's going to do everything possible to protect them from any more loss of life, like what happened on 9/11." He was spinning the sewer-level poll numbers of the President.

Here's Dowd on John Gibson's Big Story That's Big on October 25, 2005, talking about Bush's alleged "peevishness" about no one give him the high hard poll-lovin': "[T]his is a president that in spite of all of it -- 9/11, the Iraq war, everything that has happened, disasters and all that -- has stayed fairly optimistic, has stayed fairly disciplined about what he wants to do."

Here's Dowd on the same show on February 25, 2005, comparing opposition to Bush's Iraq war strategy with opposition to Ronald Reagan on the Soviet Union: "[I]n the end, we found out that his strategy was right. . . what he did in defeating the empire."

And here he is again, primping Gibson's pompadour on October 27, 2004, regarding Bush's concentration on the "War on Terror" as a campaign issue: "It's a human side of him and what it takes when you send soldiers into battle, even if you know it's right, what effect it has on families and also the leadership it takes and the commitment it takes to defeating the war on terror. So, I think it's a great insight into the President, how he makes decisions, who he is, the sensitivity he has, but the commitment he has to winning this battle on the war on terror."

Same show, regarding John Kerry's fitness to be Commander-in-Chief because Kerry "made up" facts about the tons of missing munitions in Iraq: "John Kerry says what he would do as commander in chief, before he gets his facts right, he makes an attack on our military."

One more: here's Dowd on Hannity and Colmes on July 2, 2004: "John Kerry's only plan to combat terrorism or deal with Iraq or whatever else you might call it is to elect him. Everything else he said the president is already doing."

Well, apparently not. For Dowd, who began punking out a month or so ago by writing in Texas Monthly against the surge in Bush's Army pants, now says he was ready to publish an op-ed piece titled "Kerry Was Right."

See, Dowd's had one of those remarkable revelations, the kind that a man has when he realizes what he has wrought, and that while Dowd thought he was putting together an awesome orgy party, a complete fucking free for all for Republicans, with an open bar, he didn't realize that it would turn into a hideous Dionysian thrill kill cult, making human sacrifices to hallucinated gods. God, what blood has coated Dowd's laptop.

Now, Dowd is speaking out because, as he says, "I’m a big believer that in part what we’re called to do — to me, by God; other people call it karma — is to restore balance when things didn’t turn out the way they should have. Just being quiet is not an option when I was so publicly advocating an election." Yeah, he's feelin' flames licking his toes, he's feeling plague rats chew their way into his asshole. That's what you get, you know, when you make it your life's work to convince everyone that George W. Bush is a great, mighty, compassionate warrior and all challengers will be defeated by his innate awesomeness.

Dowd claims he felt this way before the 2004 election, but he hoped his Bush-lord would right himself in the wake of a victory. He claims he was outraged that Donald Rumsfeld wasn't fired for Abu Ghraib. He makes all kinds of claims, but mostly they're just the pussy bleats of the self-immolated lamb.

Seriously, couldn't you just see Rove, Dan Bartlett, a coughing Cheney, and a farting Bush doubled over in laughter when they read that Dowd said he supports Obama and that "I wouldn’t be surprised if I wasn’t walking around in Africa or South America doing something that was like mission work...I do feel a calling of trying to re-establish a level of gentleness in the world."

Man, that's like if Himmler had lived after World War II and dedicated his life to coming up with peaceful uses for Zyklon-B.

Still, maybe one has to pity Dowd, in that "let's-shoot-Old-Yeller" kind of way. Here's a man who gets to live the rest of his life knowing that he bears some of the blame for every American that dies in Iraq, for every scandal that erupts, every mistake that drives us further and further into an American midnight, the time of day when Dowd will sit there, sweaty, closing his eyes, wishing that back in 1999, he had never put his soul into a trust with Satan's own and that, after how much sin, one has become part and parcel of that evil.

Oh, by the way, fucker may also be doing it to save his financial skin, to bail on the Bushtanic now that it's hit an iceberg, before it splits in two, sucking everyone down with it.

Update: The Rude Pundit missed one part of the big picture - Dowd's got a son shipping out to Iraq. Foxhole conversions, once removed, no? (Rude tip o' the dunce cap to reader S.H.)