Bush Took Responsibility For Jackshit:
In talking about his latest round of oh-shit-my-approval-ratings-are-dangling-lower-than-Bob-Novak's-dropped-nutsack speeches, the mainstream media has focused on the idea that George Bush "took responsibility" for something or other. The ABC headline is "Bush Takes Blame For Iraq Invasion, Intel." The Reuters headline says, "Bush takes blame for Iraq war on bad intelligence." All over the news, you could see or hear about Bush's amazing, magnanimous gesture of responsibility, as if he stood before the crowds and said, "Hey, I fucked up. Sorry about all the death and destruction because of my fuck up." But, of course, he did nothing of the kind.

Here's what Bush said: "[I]t is true that much of the intelligence turned out to be wrong. As President, I'm responsible for the decision to go into Iraq -- and I'm also responsible for fixing what went wrong by reforming our intelligence capabilities." At least it's good to know that Bush remembers that he's the one who had to say the words "Invade Iraq" before it would happen. Fuck him. Bush did not take one bit of responsibility for the bad intelligence. It's like saying, "I'm responsible for the decision to break that lamp, and I'm responsible for getting the Elmer's to put it back together," but you know what? You didn't say you broke the fuckin' lamp.

Oh, and, by the way, the newspapers and news nets need to break out the Thesaurus, 'cause Bush sure as shit didn't mean "blame" when he said "responsibility." "Blame" implies error. There was no hint of making an error in anything he spoke. In fact, Bush never mentioned "error," "mistake," "wrong," or "blame" in any reference to himself or his administration. And he certainly did not even attempt to take responsibility for the "faulty" intelligence; all he said was, "All my bitches at the U.N. thought the shit was real, too, yo."

Indeed, the only time he'll say something is wrong is when it's no longer up for argument. In his interview yesterday with Fox "News" anchor Brit "Behold My Permanent Scowl of Sonorous Objectivity" Hume, Bush was asked about admitted bribe-taker, former Representative and now contestant for "Ugliest Jailhouse Bottom in the California Penal System" Duke Cunningham, and the President said, "I feel Duke Cunningham was wrong and should be punished for what he did. And I think anybody who does what he did should be punished, Republican or Democrat." To which one can only thank fucking God that the President of the United States is so in touch with reality that he believes a confessed felon is "wrong" and "should be punished." (After which Bush offered support to Tom DeLay, who has more or less admitted laundering money.)

The pattern in the last week, in all his appearances, in all his interviews has been this: to present the image of someone who looks like he's approximating contrition. Like going to confession and saying what your friends did so you can be blessed by their absolution, Bush kept saying, again and again, pretty much nothing about his culpability, except in some vague way that, well, shit, since he's sittin' in the chair at the Oval Office, one assumes he must have something to do with what goes on around him. An example of this would be in his interview with NBC's Brian Williams, when he said, "[T]o the extent that the federal government was ineffective, I'm responsible." Again, it's nice to know he realizes that he's the head of the federal government and it can't not be his responsibility.

See, language to the Bush administration is merely the lubricant on the dildo they wish to shove up the ass of the citizenry. They read the polls - they know that ass is achin', just achin' fer some sweet lovin', somethin' hard they can feel all the way from the prostate to the uvula. And the White House sure ain't prepared to go all the way with the tender honesty of cock-in-ass humpin', but it'll bring out the ten-inch strap-on to pleasure that pucker and maybe shut up the people for a while. They can't shove it in raw - the pain and tearing would make the citizenry balk, so they gotta lube that tube, man, they gotta make it seem like it's somethin' real, not just a substitute dick, not just fakery that does the trick.

(For a similar take on Bush's empty words, see the Moderate Voice.)