Nancy Pelosi, Dominatrix for Freedom:
Goddamn and motherfuck, Nancy Pelosi is such a tough little bitch who kicked the Republicans in the crotch so hard that they were tasting nut blood. When Pelosi met with reporters on Wednesday, she may as well have been standing there in thigh-high spike-heeled boots and a leather whip 'cause she was there to dominate. The Rude Pundit got a hard-on listening to Pelosi stomp the living shit out the whole Bush facade: "I believe that the president's leadership and the actions taken in Iraq demonstrate an incompetence in terms of knowledge, judgment and experience in making the decisions that would have been necessary to truly accomplish the mission without the deaths to our troops and the costs to our taxpayers." Partially, Pelosi's outrage was a reaction to Bush and his patronizing, imperialistic, full-of-shit statement to Republicans that it is time to "take the training wheels off" Iraq. Bush's metaphor begs the question: if this is how we've been training them, what the fuck's gonna happen when we set them free.
Oh, how the Republicans have worked themselves into a tizzy about this. Tom DeLay's never-really-contained-rage flowed over as he "demanded an apology" for her "dangerous rhetoric" and words "that are putting American lives at risk." And you just wanna look at DeLay's picture and realize he needs the slightest moustache to look like Hitler. Dennis "Pass Me More Pie, Motherfuckers" Hastert commented that the remarks "crossed the line." Which, of course, begs the question if questioning the patriotism of John McCain is right and elegant discourse. And then there's the laughably paranoid response of Ed Gillespie of the GOP, which, c'mon, what kind of goddamn sane person tries to cram that much hatred into such a short paragraph?
You know what's fucking funny about this? She accepted, for the House Democrats, more responsibility for mistakes in the war in Iraq than any administration official has. The responsibility, Pelosi said, lies with "all of us any time we vote to send our young people into harm's way."
Pelosi is not to be fucked with. She has been known to tear the jugular veins out of greater men than Tom DeLay and laugh at them while they quivered on the ground, bleeding to death. She's got that leather ready, and she's gonna hitch a big ol' dog collar around Dennis Hastert's corpulent neck and ride that blubbery motherfucker up and down the halls of the House, smackin' his ass with the bullwhip, stickin' those spiked heels into the Speaker's haunches. Yah, mule, she'll cry. 'Cause the little bitch ain't backin' down. Here she is yesterday, slapping the living piss out of the Republicans: she called their Congress a "do-nothing" body and that "they are in complete denial about the needs and aspirations of the American people."
"The emperor has no clothes," Pelosi said about the President, and the rest of us have now got to get over the scarring image, seared into our consciousness, of a naked George W., all bony, stringy dick leaning to the right, smirking at us.
