5/19/2024

Other Things Martha-Ann Alito Will Do If She's Mad at the Neighbors

Apparently, if you call Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito's wife, Martha-Ann, a "c-word" that rhymes with "runt," she'll fly the American flag upside-down at the Alitos' house in sympathy with election deniers. And Alito won't deny that that's what it was for; he'll just sigh and say, in essence, "Well, the little woman was made to feel bad so she did a treason." So I guess that she just reacts in the weirdest ways when someone says something mean or puts up a sign that upsets her. She has it all worked out: 

1. If you call her a "bitch," she'll fly a Nazi flag at her house.

2. If you put up a Black Lives Matter sign, she'll come to the neighborhood cookout in a Klan robe.

3. If you say her husband is responsible for killing women, she'll fly the flag of Gilead. 

4. If you put up a yard sign for Joe Biden, she'll piss the word "Trump" on your lawn.

5. If you put up a sign that mentions Kamala Harris, she'll burn a cross on your lawn.

6. If you call her a "twat," she'll invite the Proud Boys over and have sex with them on the front porch.

7. If you put up one of those signs that says, "In this house..." in your front yard, she'll get her QAnon friends to invade your basement to look for kidnapped children whose blood you drink. 

8. If you wear a Che Guevara shirt in her neighborhood, she'll get Putin to poison you. 

9. If you put a "Fuck SCOTUS" sign in your yard, she'll shoot your dog and your goat. 

10. If you call her a "fascist," she'll bring you a pound cake and thank you. 

(Note: I've seen that Martha-Ann was called "the c-word." So it could also be "cocksucker" or "cancer," both of which work, too. We're all just assuming it's the one that rhymes with "hunt" and maybe that says a lot about us. And her.)

(Note 2: Blogger wouldn't let me use the actual c-word. So I deleted it. Let's see if this version works.)