4/08/2014

In Brief: Eric Holder Reams Out Rep. Louis Gohmert with Asparagus

In our last episode, Attorney General Eric Holder caused Republican Rep. Louis Gohmert of Fuck-a-Mule, Texas, to descend into an ape-like rage, leaving him babbling, quite clearly, "The attorney general will not cast aspersions on my asparagus."

Today, Holder was back before the House Judiciary Committee and, after another dustup over Holder not providing documents that Gohmert demanded, Holder took out some asparagus and fucked Gohmert's ass with it. At the end of Gohmert's bluster, sounding like Yosemite Sam gargling balls, Holder said, really, "Good luck with your asparagus." Gohmert must have felt the bumpy tip of the spear tickling his prostate.

You have to imagine Holder was thinking, "Why the fuck not? You've already held me in contempt." It was the "Go fuck yourself" of the Month.

And it brightened the Rude Pundit's day more than a Buzzfeed full of pug puppy pictures.