4/27/2005

Satanic Judges Eat Jesus:
Holy shit, the horrors that must have been inflicted on poor, trembling, god-fearing America because of all the judges nominated by George Bush that the Democrats did not filibuster or, indeed, voted for. How many atheistic, satanic devil cock gobblers are now sitting on the federal benches, befouling the courtrooms with their piss-smell of burnt offerings to Beelzebub? How many crazed Bohemian liberals are now tossing bombs because the Democrats advised and consented? Indeed, is not every judge not filibustered now tainted by the support of the wild-eyed Democrats on the Judiciary Committee?

The Rude Pundit receives regular updates from the Family Research Council because, well, spam is spam is spam, and, hell, they might save the Rude Pundit's soul. Or get him cheap Cialis, which, downed with a vodka/rum cocktail last time, led to a nine-hour erection that you could have crucified a savior on. Tony Perkins' last e-mail call to action implored the Rude Pundit to "send an email right now to your Senators and ask them to end the filibuster of judicial nominees who are people of faith and conservative values." See, Justice Sunday pissed off Democrats and "they are not happy that their two- year concerted effort to sanitize the federal judiciary of people of faith and conservative values has finally been exposed." If this is true, then, good god, what have we done to America? What have we done?

Like in confirming that skank twat Laurie Smith Camp for the U.S. District Court of Nebraska. Says her bio, "Her church and community leadership include service as a director of the Nebraska Conference of the United Church of Christ; [and] a member of the Church Council of First Plymouth Congregational Church." United Church of Christ? Those bastards love Spongebob (no, really, they do). They say shit like "Jesus didn't turn people away. Neither do we." And while her personal views on the right to abortion aren't known, she "testified before the Committee on Judiciary of the Nebraska Legislature in support of a bill that would recognize an embryo at all stages of development as a separate, independent victim of a crime." This church-going mother of two who supports fetal rights and who was confirmed when Democrats controlled the Senate must be part of the judiciary sanitizing process.

And what does it say about the judges who, when in the minority, Democrats deemed un-filibuster worthy? Like Edward Prado, confirmed in 2003 for the Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals, and is "actively" involved in St. Mark's Catholic Church in San Antonio. Like Philip Simon, confirmed in 2003 for the USDC in Northern Indiana, who also is a depraved member of the St. Paul Catholic Church in Valparaiso. Or Thomas Varlan, confirmed in for the USDC in Eastern Tennessee, and a member of the strange and cultish St. George Greek Orthodox Church in Knoxville, which lures innocent Christians in every year with its sweet baklava promises and meaty gyros at its wonderful Greek Festival. Not only does raging non-faith-believing Varlan belong to a church that is strongly anti-choice, but he's already issued such stunningly wacky liberal decisions like allowing continued strip mining by a coal company. Yep, it's a damned - some might say a "goddamned" - shame that such people lacking in faith and conservative conviction could now be on the bench.

"The War Against People of Faith" is an insane chimera, a lie told to gather donations for the Family Research Council and keep James Dobson's son supplied with moustache wax, a laughably hypocritical attempt to make "Christians" believe they are under siege.

As Moveon.org and others prepare ads about the filibuster, don't just make it about Senate tradition and procedure. Make sure that everyone knows that "People of Faith" are on the bench everywhere, and that Tony Perkins and the batshit nutzoid William Donohue don't own the copyright on who is faithful and who is not.