2/15/2005

Why Gannon/Guckert Matters (Rude Version):
When the Rude Pundit posted the work of Joseph A last week, wherein a reader created a Craigslist personal ad using Jeff Gannon/Jim Guckert's photo with his cock-desiring stare, it was meant to be a joke, a little funny thing to degrade an asshole who so deserved to be degraded, a fuck-you finger raised in the face of the little bitches in the mainstream media who refused to take the story seriously. And some readers were put out - how could the Rude Pundit do something so petty? Are we not lowering ourselves to the level of those we despise? Ahh, but the waves and tides of events and the undying research of Left Blogsylvania have a tendency to bite us all on the ass, do they not? Indeed, the Rude Pundit could not possibly lower himself to the level of the right wing of this country.

See, the Rude Pundit hoped beyond hope that the following would be revealed: apparently Gannon/Guckert was, really, truly a cockmonger of extraordinary appetites. Or, to put it simply, it looks like lil' J. D. Guckert was a gay male prostitute. For $1200, you could spend the weekend with Guckert, who, ya know, has got a nice body although he's got an odd, clumpy penis/balls combination. For $200, you could have an hour. And one imagines that getting access to the President of the United States would make one's price go up. Guckert could now put out an ad wherein you could pay $350 to shove your dick in the mouth that asked Bush a question. For an extra $50, you can slap him around and call him an "enabling little bitch."

'Course, the frosting, if you will, on this cake of cocksucking is the article from Raw Story that White House Press Secretary Scott "Stonewall" McClellan visits gay bars in Texas. So, like, between the potential sodomite McClellan, the outed sodomite and GOP Chair Ken Mehlman, and the whoredom of Guckert, would one be wrong to think that the vicious sexual repression of the conservative movement is actually masking a burgeoning buggering brotherhood?

With this revelation, John Aravosis at AMERICAblog claims that all this matters because of the anti-gay agenda of the Bush administration and the hypocrisy of populating the White House with gay men while pursuing this agenda (and giving the hooker access that few in the press are allowed). Aravosis is right, but that's just the surface of why this matters and why this story should be hammered on until something cracks.

Here's why it matters that the Bush administration allowed an alleged gay male prostitute with no journalistic experience into the White House on a daily basis and even allowed him to ask the President a question at one of Bush's precious little press conference debacles:
Right now, in Egypt, in Pakistan, in Thailand, there's a guy who's done nothing wrong other than be in the wrong place at the wrong time who's hanging on a wall, his wrists bleeding from the metal bracelets, his fingernails torn out from trying to, for fuck's sake, hold himself up to give his torn arm muscles some rest. He's been stripped naked, cold water has been thrown on him, electric prods have been shoved in his nuts. He's been threatened with being fucked in the ass by German shepherds and he's had bottles and broomsticks and metal rods shoved into his asshole. The beatings? Fuck, the beatings are like soft cushions compared to everything else. But he's still getting the shit beaten out of him every day. And he's there, in Egypt, in Pakistan, in Thailand, where eventually he's gonna fuckin' confess to anything, to every goddamn sin they want him to confess to, because the United States sent him there so that he could be stripped, shocked, and sodomized in a hole in the middle of some shithole building, some prison or "interrogation room" where no one will ever give a fuck about such nasty bullshit like "habeas corpus" and fuckin' "rights."

The reason Gannon/Guckert matters is because this administration has mainstreamed evil, has made it a dull hum in the background. Oh, sure, sure, we were appalled, so goddamn outraged when Abu Ghraib happened, but now, even as story after story comes out that we, the American public, elected a government that thinks it's simply part of the post-9/11 game to abuse and torture suspects, we care less and less. And like a rickety old house with termites gnawing at its foundation, we are being undermined and won't know it until the whole thing comes crashing down around us. We are draining away law and ethics through the "extraordinary renditions" of "terror suspects," as well as our own torturing. Like city dwellers who can sleep through sirens, car alarms, and street construction, we just tune it all out. But it'll crash, finally. Then we'll think, oh, shit, should've killed those termites.

You may ask how these things are connected, Guckert and Guantanamo (and elsewhere), other than through the act of sodomy. All of one's lies are entangled, ultimately. Al Capone couldn't be caught on a murder rap. Instead, the government nailed him and destroyed him because of tax evasion. If what finally brings down the Bush administration is the revelation of a secret cabal of homosexuals trying desperately to stay in the closet, then so be it.

But, you know, the Rude Pundit ain't holding his breath.