Meet the Bush:
Now, the Rude Pundit is no ad exec. He isn't trained in the art of writing commercials, he doesn't know the ins and outs of the "industry," he would rather lick broken glass while kneeling on rice than create the gag-inducing lies and bullshit of political spots. But someone's gotta be able to do a better job than the putrid first batch of campaign ads for Bush/Cheney. 'Cause one ad begs a whole fuck of a lot of questions and another seems to be a tribute that oh-so-cute ghost from the beloved bit of comics page spittle, Family Circus: Not Me.

Remember Not Me? Precious little dead thing who showed up to commit mischief that the parents would blame on the children, who would claim it was "Not Me" who broke the vase or plunged the economy into crippling deficits. Oops. Sorry, that wasn't little Jeffy. It was little Georgie, whose ad "Safer, Stronger" may as well have him standing there in shorts, hands behind his back, rocking on his heels, declaring that he didn't do it. Here's the script in all its putrescence, minus the manipulative, gratuitous images of 9/11 (which have already been justly and soundly criticized):

"January 2001: The challenge:
An economy in recession.
A stock market in decline.
A dot com boom....gone bust. Then...
A day of tragedy. A test for all Americans.
Today, America is turning the corner.
Rising to the challenge.
Safer, stronger.
President Bush. Steady leadership in times of change."

You may wonder, "Gee, I seem to remember peace, a huge budget surplus, and the potential for the world to become a better place," and this is why you are not an ad exec. The end of the Clinton era was a huge relief from the excesses of solid stewardship and blow jobs. Historical revisionism aside, the craven cowardice of the ad is strikingly hubristic: it ain't my fault. It's just taken me three years to get a handle on the huge pile of shit this country was. Oh, and remember how more than half of you voted to continue that nightmare back in 2000? You were all fucking stupid. And thank God you all have short memories.

Remember: Not Me, say P.J., Dolly, Jeffy, and Georgie.

Tomorrow: Another Day, Another Ad.

(Brief post from being out of town)