9/30/2020

The Debate: Trump Give Us Filth and Fraud While Biden Actually Plans a Future for Us

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I was in Mexico City with my family in the early 1980s, and our tour guide took us to see a bullfight.  My grandfather was absolutely thrill...
9/29/2020

What Biden Ought to Say at Tonight's Debate (Rude Version)

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At the start of tonight's first presidential debate, Democratic candidate and former Vice President Joe Biden ought to look at President...
9/25/2020

If Trump Was Telling the Truth About Voter Fraud, People Would Be Arrested (But He's Not)

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Donald Trump is currently the president of the United States, whether we like it or not. And that's apparently his plan for the 2020 ele...
9/22/2020

The One Question for Republicans: What's Your Plan for When the ACA Is Gone?

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I may just be a filthy writer with a fondness for sodomy references and scatological humor and not some fancy, overpaid media consultant, bu...
9/19/2020

Blaming 2016 Voters for the Supreme Court Is Worthless

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Last night, right after I checked my phone after a joyful happy hour with friends on a rooftop bar, my buzz disappeared and I went immediate...
9/18/2020

Trump to Over Half of America: You're Not Americans

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One reason that Donald Trump ignored the COVID-19 pandemic in the early phases was because it was primarily affecting blue states. He saw an...
9/15/2020

Trump in a Battle to the Death (Our Deaths, Not His) with Science

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The next governor who doesn't want Donald Trump to have one of his experimental virus incubator rallies should insist that they'll ...
9/11/2020

9/11 Unity Is a Fond Remembrance from the Past That Never Happened

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Look, far be it from me to shit all over your 9/11 unity circle jerk, but let's stop fucking pretending that we all held hands and sang,...
9/09/2020

The President Is Our Mass Murderer

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Sometimes, oh, my sweet, weary people of Donald Trump's America, it feels like we're sailing in skiffs on a sea of shit and some of ...
9/07/2020

A Poem for the Laborers

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"Calling Him Back from Layoff"  by Bob Hicok I called a man today. After he said hello and I said hello came a pause during which ...
9/02/2020

What Did That Dumb Orange Motherfucker Say Now? (Laura Ingraham Interview Edition)

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Yeah, you've heard some of the appalling shit that Donald Trump squeezed out of his mouth hole while being interviewed by Lauren "...
8/31/2020

MAGA Terrorism Is Too Familiar

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There's a murder that's been on my mind for a few weeks now. It happened in Peshawar, Pakistan, a large city in the northwest of th...
8/28/2020

RNC Night 4: "I Alone Can Fuck It All Up"

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One of President Donald Trump's ultimate tells is the phrase "as you know." Whenever Trump says something and follows it with ...
8/26/2020

Melania Trump's Shitty RNC Speech

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Hey, all you legit pundits out there, don't fuckin' waste anyone's time trying to fuck the corpse of decent oratory back to life...
8/25/2020

Random Observations on the RNC Orgy and Klan Rally (Night 1: That Was Some Weird Shit)

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1. The theme of the Republican National Convention, which started last night from various locations in Hell, was "All glory to Trump....
8/22/2020

Biden and Harris Believe You Deserve Sanity in Your Daily Lives

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Everyone is talking about Joe Biden and Kamala Harris 's speeches at the Democratic National Convention this past week as being a retur...
8/20/2020

Obama Tells Us We're in Danger and We Better Fucking Act Like We Are

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(I'm gonna talk about Kamala Harris's speech tomorrow, along with Joe Biden's.) One thing I've appreciated about the Democra...