Join the Rude Pundit Patreon For All Your Rude Needs

I get it. You want your internet content and shit for free. You wanna be able to jump from site to site and read and comment and watch and pleasure yourself and whatever for just the cost of your home wifi. It's cool. I understand. I get sick of being told by some goddamn website that I've reached the limit of the 6 articles they'll deign to let me read about Buttfuck, Alabama, for a month unless I pay them a buck or three or five.

But I'm not like those cocks. I write most of my shit for no money at all, not even an advertisement (tried that for a while, got sick of it). Hell, I even do the occasional podcast interview for free.

So, instead, I've got this Patreon page that's a little somethin' somethin' where you gotta pay, starting at just $1 a month for bonus posts. And that includes audio stories just like on yer Moth or yer That American Lifeses.

For $1 a month, you get a never-blogged Patreon-only post once per month, along with an occasional audio Rude Storytime. (Yes, the word "rude" will be used a few more times.)

For $3 a month, you get a weekly Patreon-only post, and even more audio Rude Storytime. I'm telling stories about drunken nights in Denmark and sober fights in academia and that time I was a Santa in a shitty mall.

For $5 a month, you get all of the above, plus extended interviews from Another Goddamn Podcast. Upcoming interviews will feature some hilarious writers and comedians, awesome Tweeters, and maybe a serious political pundit or two.

For $10 a month, you get all of that, eternal gratitude, and, when I put together my upcoming Rude Pundit live show, a free ticket.

And if you're thinking, "Fuck, man, can't I just give you some money and you give me something, like NPR or a grateful hooker?" Sure.

The offer still stands: you donate $50 or more at PayPal by clicking right here or over on the side, and I'll send you all of 2018's bonus posts. Over 60 pages of fun and dark tales, punctuated with drinking, a few drugs, a little sex, and the baffling world of QAnon, along with talk about movies, music, and other pop culture shit, as well as stories about horrible people and about lovely people.

I'm this close to having enough to afford an audio editing monkey to do my bidding on the podcast. Let's put it over the top and give someone a part-time job.

And thanks again to everyone who's donated or is on Patreon. I owe you at least a sad handy or a beer at some point, should our paths ever cross.