Teenage Josh Duggar Fingered His 5 Year-Old Sister's Vagina

Yeah, that harsh headline was necessary because we are now in the middle of a bullshit river when it comes to the juvenile crimes of Josh Duggar, the eldest son of the Duggar clan featured on 19 Kids and Counting (aka "That Show We'll Never See Again") and former leader at the Family Research Council (motto: "We don't know any Josh Duggar"). From ages 14-15, Josh Duggar fingered girls, including four out of five of his sisters, and it wasn't just "over their clothes while they were sleeping," as Josh's parents told Megyn Kelly last night on the Fox "news" program The Kelly Sneer.

Daddy Duggar says this repeatedly: it was just touching a breast over clothes. The girls don't even remember it, he says. But then there's this from the police report: Josh "was reading to his 5 year old sister and as she was sitting on his lap, he had touched her breasts and vaginal area." Later on, Josh cornered the girl in the laundry room, and he "put his hand under her dress." Oh, and he fondled the breasts of a female family friend as she slept over.

How much you wanna bet that the only reason Josh tearfully confessed to his parents was because he was afraid of being narced out by one of his sisters? The fucker was 15. He knew it was wrong to finger his very little sister's vagina. That's what he did. Let's not tiptoe around it or use code.

Right now, like many other right-wing molestation apologists, conservative America's Idiot Queen, Sarah Palin, is squawking about progressive hypocrisy because of Lena Dunham. Yes, Lena Dunham. "I’m sickened that the media gives their chosen ones a pass for any behavior as long as they share their leftwing politics. Case in point, they suggest Lena Dunham's sexual assault on her sibling is cute," Palin grunts incoherently. You might ask, "The fuck?" Indeed, the fuck. In case you don't remember, Dunham was seven when she looked into her one year-old sister's vagina. She also said that she masturbated once when her sister was sleeping in the same bed as her and that she paid her sister to kiss her. Somehow, in her tiny brain tainted by too much alcohol and moose jerky, Palin equates an adolescent fondling his sleeping sisters with a prepubescent girl checking out her younger sister's hoo-hah.

Oh, Bristol Palin chimed in, too, but who the fuck cares.

Bonus fun with Alaskan dimwits: Palin says, flatly, " I’m not an apologist for any sexual predator," just before she dismisses Josh Duggar's actions as youthful "wrongdoing," and then says the real issue is that the police report was released and that the "media" is going "after the entire Duggar family for one member’s wrongdoing, while giving a total pass to perverted actions of someone like Lena Dunham." And because no Facebook post by Sarah Palin is ever complete without a moment of total monkeyfuck insanity, she jabbers, "Such obvious double standards applied to equally relevant stories underestimate the wisdom of the public, discredit the press, and spit on the graves of every American who fought and died for the press's freedom." Damn, that's the kind of leaping that'd make a parkour expert say, "How the fuck did you get there?"

Of course it all gets back to the Duggars. These greedy Jesus-fellaters knew that they had a huge goddamned skeleton in the closet, but somehow they got it in their head that God wanted them to make a shit-ton of money by exploiting their children for profit. Then they took it further and got into political statements about how gay and lesbian couples were gonna destroy the nation. Meanwhile, the state trooper/family friend who decided against doing any investigation into Josh's multiple fingerings and fondlings was put in prison for extra-horrific child pornography because that's how shit rolls among the godly in Arkansas.

Put aside how messed up the whole situation is. Put aside that Jim Bob Duggar should have just shut the fuck up about anything to do with sex and probably should have declined any public position at all. Put aside that the Duggar parents put Josh in some of kind of Jesus camp to learn that fingering a five year-old's vagina is wrong. Put aside that just because God forgave Josh, it doesn't mean the rest of us should. Instead, focus on the fact that Mama and Daddy Duggar thought everything was a-ok. Except...

They told Megyn Kelly something that should demonstrate the lie that the entire show was. Michelle Duggar mentioned how they changed the behavior of the kids after Josh's confession: " I mean, there were a lot of things that changed in our understanding as parents with this first child, first son to come to this place in his life, we're like, there were things we learned even since then that I think, you know what, we don't let boys baby-sit. They don't play hide and seek together, the two don't go off and hide. There are just a lot of things we've put in place. You're not alone in a room with someone else. Always be out visible, and, you know, little ones don't sit on big boys' laps or people that you don't know or even family members, unless it's your daddy. So we just -- there's boundaries that we've learned --"

Josh Duggar's actions fucked up his family. Things that would be considered normal in any other family, like two kids hiding during a game, were now sinister. Yet these manipulative fakers pretended to be paragons of family values. That's why the "press" is going after the Duggars.

Blame yourselves, right-wingers. You paraded these assholes in front of us and then were shocked when they shit the nest.

Edited: It's bullshit that the police report was released improperly.