What's Real: Walmart Loves the Duck Dynasty Guys

You gotta recognize reality if you're gonna understand what's going on in this country. Oh, we can live in our liberal enclaves, our Brooklyns, our Austins, our Ashevilles. We can exist in blog world, constantly reifying our positions with each other, like an endless human centipede of unrecognized righteousness. But here's the deal, oh, sweet lefty motherfuckers out there (and, let's be honest - many of you know this already because you're surrounded by it): When you walk into a Walmart in the middle of Tennessee, this is what you will see:

Yes, our bugaboos, the Duck Dynasty fellers, bedeck cards and gift bags and wrapping paper. Why? Because they and everything they represent are fucking beloved, probably even more since we all kicked up a fuss about Johnny Beardface or whatever the fuck his name is saying mean things about the gays. You can try to explain that the whole thing is a lie, that they are rich pukes who really just wanna play golf and make money off the poors. But the Walmart shoppers won't give a damn. That's a reality we need to understand if we're going to make inroads with people who need things like expanded Medicaid.

Then you turn a corner, and you see this:

And that shit's just terrifying. But at least, for now, they are unarmed.