Your State Sucks: Arizona Sucks Because Its GOP Legislators Are Worms

Your State Sucks: Arizona Sucks Because Its GOP Legislators Are Worms:
Last week, the Senate in the state of Arizona (motto: "No, Breaking Bad took place in New Mexico") passed SB 1062, the so-called "Religious Freedom Restoration Act." Essentially, SB 1062, along with House Bill 2153, protects "businesses, corporations and people from lawsuits after denying services based on a sincere religious belief." It is an amended version of already existing statutes. Now, everyone knows that the bill exists solely because the Arizona legislature fears that queers getting married are going to want things like "cake" and "decorations" and "hall rentals" and "hotel rooms in which they can fuck all queerly and shit." And if you think the queers are icky and make Jesus cry blood tears, you shouldn't have to deal with 'em.

Of course, the way the bill is worded, it might have some unintended consequences. For instance, the ugly city of Phoenix has seen its Muslim population grow exponentially in the last few years. It has become a place for refugees from Muslim countries to settle. Let's say, and, really, why the fuck not, that Phoenix gets a critical mass of Muslim inhabitants. SB 1062 would allow them to say to you (assuming you are female) that you need to cover your whore head with a veil or no cake for you. And if you're getting married Christian? Well, fuck your right to rent the local Holiday Inn owned by a Muslim businessman. His religious freedom was restored, too, motherfuckers.

Since the bill's passage, along party lines in the Senate, 17-13, lots of people in Arizona have been encouraging Governor Jan "This Finger Wags at You" Brewer to veto it, including the two Senators in DC from the barren wasteland state, Jeff Flake and John McCain. The Arizona Republic newspaper said the same thing, as have three of the state senators who voted for the bill just last week...

Wait...what the hell?

Yeah, see, 'cause there's no worm like a sun-baked desert worm, three of the Republican senators who just last Wednesday proudly cast a vote for legalized discrimination wearing the ghoul mask of religious "freedom" have sent a letter to Brewer asking her to veto the thing. Over the weekend, they must have heard an earful because they said that "the reaction from constituents to the business community reinforced their discomfort with their 'yes' votes."

This is comedy. You want farce? One of the new fag-loving trio is Rep. Bob Worsley. He is a sponsor of the bill that he now wants vetoed. "We feel it was a solution in search of a problem," he said, not noting that he was the one searching. And in the letter, he added that he and the others "condemn discrimination." It sounds like someone learned the "definitions" of "words" like "freedom" and "discrimination."

Why the change of heart? Maybe because businesses in Arizona, the ones who would have their precious, easily-shattered religious freedom so heinously abrogated by sinning gays tying the knot, have come out against the bill. It would not be overstating it to say that many business groups and leaders are shitting themselves at the prospect of the state that lost a Super Bowl and a fuckton of cash because it hates immigrants moving on to hating LGBT people.

Finally, now that open gays and lesbians have money to spend, it's welcoming arms. The only thing more American than Jesus is money.