12/02/2013

In Brief: A No-Good Website That's Kind of Working Right Now, Goddamnit

In Brief: A No-Good Website That's Kind of Working Right Now, Goddamnit:
Let us say the good and necessary progressive thing to say whenever an actual progressive talks about the Affordable Care Act: it should have had a public option for insurance. Or it should have been single payer. Indeed, at this point, considering the titanic waves of bullshit that Democrats have had to surf and splash around in, Obamacare could have been completely socialized medicine with free hookers thrown in as a bonus or it could have been a bottle of aspirin. It wouldn't have mattered to the GOP. They'd've still hocked up the exact same loogies and spit them at the plan.

The lesson for Democrats oughta be that if you're gonna have to fight a war over something, at least make it a Democratic something that you're defending and not some Republican Frankenstein's monster you lightning bolted to life.

In the same way that it wouldn't have mattered what ACA was for conservatives, it truly doesn't matter if healthcare.gov can now wash your car, walk your dog, and fuck you real good. The hits from the nitwits on the right will keep coming.

For instance, here's Redstate's Erick "Erick" Erickson, who looks like a bloated mascot version of himself now that he's on Fox "news," scribbling bloggily about how cooperative Republicans should be with the Affordable Care Act: "We must deny them the opportunity to fix the law itself. Let the American people see big government in all its glory. Then offer a repeal."

By this thinking, if the Iraq War had been started by a Democrat, the Republicans in Congress would have denied funds for soldiers to have the right armor on their Humvees to take IED attacks. Republicans would have said that if we didn't completely withdraw immediately, it was the Democrats who were killing our soldiers. And Erick "Erick" Erickson would have bloatily slurred how the American people need to see war in all its bloody glory. (Note: Can you ever imagine Democrats saying, "Fuck it. We're not gonna let you do dick to fix a law that was passed by this body"?)

Of course, if right-wingers are saying stupid shit in public, then the Washington Post's chief torture apologist, former speechwriter and ballwasher for George W. Bush, Marc Thiessen, will be there to angrily try to compensate for all that acne in high school. The fascinating thing about Thiessen is his seemingly willful ignorance to who the fuck he actually worked for once, who he aided and abetted in wrecking the nation. So he can write, with a straight smirk, regarding the way he thinks the American people are feeling about some of the promises Obama and others made about the ACA, "They are angry about being lied to."

Even allowing that Obama fucked up in telling people that they could keep their shitty, overpriced plans, Thiessen, who helped craft some of the ways that Bush spouted his lies to the nation and the world, should probably look at his resume' every time he think about saying that people are pissed about lies. A self-aware man would nod at the paper and say, "Yeah, I'd be a hypocritical jack-off if I wrote that."

It'll be a fun few days, filled with conservatives dancing madly around fires fed by iPads with screens with Obamacare error messages. Oh, how they'll howl at the moon and cover themselves in Ann Coulter's menstrual blood in celebration of each and every glitch and stumble, how they'll laugh when you suggest that they might stop yowling at the void and do some goddamn work.