Guns and Ammo Magazine Firing Shows Conservatism Is Fucked

Guns and Ammo Magazine Firing Shows Conservatism Is Fucked:
You know, "shit for brains" is something people sometimes say to denote the stupidity of their opponent, jokingly or seriously. But instead of just being a substitute for "dummy" or "fucktard" or "backwards ass country fuck," the Rude Pundit prefers to think of some people actually having a pile of shit inside their heads where their brains ought to be; that whenever they try to form a thought or parse out some logic, all they can  do is rock the shit back and forth until their necks get tired and they end up slouched over, mouth agape, thin drool thread heading south to their laps.

If you want to know exactly who fits this description, head on over to the Facebook page for Guns and Ammo magazine. There, under the "Recent Posts by Others," you will have your American soul taken out of you, ass raped by hillbillies, and tossed into a garbage dump that's probably some shit-for-brains' backyard. "I've cancelled my subscription WHY !!!!! Guns and ammo is for gun control? Unsubscribed!!!!!where is our Second Amendment....." writes one knuckle-dragger who apparently thinks that multiple punctuation shows he really means it.

Whatever happened? Did Guns and Ammo magazine tell its readers to turn in their sniper rifles and machine guns and maybe eat a fuckin' salad every now and then? Did it go full Brady? What in the world could cause such a vomiting of hate and bile?

It was an editorial by one of the magazine's longtime contributors. Well, obviously it must have been so blatantly offensive, like calling people who own big guns with giant-ass magazines "little-dicked, paranoid, racist fuckheads who are ruining the nation"? "Selfish cunts who have no real use to the world and pretend to be tough because they live such meaningless, degraded lives"? So the Rude Pundit read this liberal screed.

Here's a transcript of the Rude Pundit's brain as he read the offending column, "Let's Talk Limits" by Dick Metcalf:

"Uh-huh. Yes, good, 'well-regulated militia' means, you know, 'regulated.' Whiskey. Whiskey. Reasonable discussion of how rights in other areas are limited. Crush Adderall. Bump. Whiskey. Statement of worry about unsafe gun practices. Rational support of a 16-hour training course for concealed carry license in Illinois. Whiskey. Let's click on this Norwegian porn site. No...no...too much feces...Zip up pants. This is a Starbucks, for chrissake. Article. Search for anything that remotely limits gun owners' 'rights' beyond a little bit of training. Whiskey. Nope, nothing. What the fuck is wrong with these people?"

Truly, the only thing that Metcalf called for was the training for concealed carry licenses. That's all. And not only was there an orgy of hatred for him and threats of canceled subscriptions, but editor Jim Bequette apologized by fellating a Glock and firing Metcalf. Because, apparently, the rest of the Bill of Rights is only good enough to polish a pistol after wiping the sweat off your ass crack.

And here is where the Rude Pundit will extrapolate for your pleasure and amusement. What this whole episode demonstrates is how unbelievably fucked the conservative movement is. The rigid ideology, the demand for adherence to dogma, and the condemnation of anyone who varies even slightly are all going to squeeze out the few remaining rational people like the last dingleberries of a dry shit. What does Dick Metcalf learn? That gun owners can have a calm discussion about an utterly reasonable and non-controversial effort to make guns even a little safer? Or that he may as well have called for the execution of AR-15 owners, considering the hatred that poured out at him?

They not only eat their own. They demand that you must eat yourself in the process.

(To be as fair as possible, on that Facebook page, there are more than a few people who are posting that they are pissed off about Metcalf's firing. Like this guy - who the Rude Pundit won't name because assholes will be assholes - who wrote: "I'm an NRA member and a competition pistol shooter. Too bad you had the guts to be reasonable and then turned into cowards because of all the thugs in our gun culture that bullied you. 74 percent of our members support more extensive background checks but Loopy Lapierre wants us to believe checks will lead to confiscations. Well there are those of us who consider the greater good. I for one will not be bullied!")