Ann Coulter Is Still a Cunt (Historical Revisionism Edition):
(Note: Yes, "cunt." Now let's move along here...)
One may wonder why, oh, why, in the long sunset of her career of befouling the airwaves with the wretched perfume of racism, fascism, semen breath, and cigarettes, it's even relevant to take down Ann Coulter, the once-proud banner waver of complete bugfuckery on the right. Wielding her fake intellect like a blunt dildo that she writhes on until she's rendered her clit numb, Coulter is not only long past her due date, she's been dropping into the bottomless pit of irrelevancy for a few years as she sees herself eclipsed by the Cupps and Loesches and whatever other shiny dipshits they can shove in front of a camera to say vile things.
Here's the deal, sweet liberals: What she says is still often a bellwether for the blathering you'll hear from the nutzoid mutants running around in Congress now.
So, in her latest "column" (if by "column," you mean, "An unending stream of vomit fed into the mouths of insatiable idiots"), Coulter revises the last 50 or 60 years of American history in order to blame Democrats and/or liberals for every bad foreign policy decision the country has bumblefucked into. Now, the Rude Pundit could go through it and offer factual rebuttals or nuance to her dull cudgel of cherry-picked information. Like, say, when Coulter offers, "Nixon came in and honorably ended the Democrats' disastrous handling of the Vietnam War by signing the Paris Peace Accords in January 1973." Now, one might ask, "If Nixon was so hot to end the war, why did it take him four years to do it?" Or perhaps one might mention that the protests against the war had a mighty effect. Or maybe one could bring up the illegal attack on Cambodia.
But that's playing on her field. And you're never gonna win when you've got an opponent who lives on gin and chewing gum.
Instead, let's use a picture to show what a fucking liar this fucking cunt is. Coulter scrawls about Iran, "By giving Islamic fanatics their first nation-state, [Jimmy] Carter produced the global Islamofascist movement we're still dealing with today." And then she blows Reagan's corpse because he "destroyed the Soviet Union."
To that, the Rude Pundit offers this:
That's Saint Reagan meeting with what he and the right wingers referred to as Afghan "freedom fighters," the Mujahideen. Jimmy Carter used the CIA to help arm them just before their war with the Soviet Union started in 1979. Then Reagan upped the amount of aid for a proxy war with the Soviets, all part of the "Reagan Doctrine" of hating on the USSR.
Oh, the Mujahideen? After the war was over, some of them became terrorists known as "al-Qaeda." And, boy, did they have some cool weapons to play with. The kindest interpretation you can give is that Reagan used Afghanistan in order to bankrupt the Soviet Union. But even under that fantasy, you'd be hard-pressed to deny that 9/11 happened because of Ronald Reagan.
Coulter wants history to be so fucking easy. Attack Clinton over Somalia but leave out Kosovo. Say that Obama withdrew the troops from Iraq on his own when, really, the Iraqi government kicked us out. We on the left read Coulter and scoff and humph and wonder who the fuck could be so fucking stupid as to believe this bullshit that's as obvious as actual shit from a bull in the middle of your dining room.
But the truth is that too many Americans want to walk up to Coulter and take a deep whiff of her ass leavings because, really, if they don't, then they'd have to face reality, that their deepest held beliefs about the innate evil of the left and the innate greatness of the right are just the greatest joke ever played on them.
(Note again: If any of you poor, poor dears are offended by the use of the word "cunt," here is how Coulter concludes about the Iraq war: "The Iraq War turned every Middle Eastern despot into President Bush's bitch. But now Obama is their bitch. " What word would you use for her?)