6/10/2009

In Brief: Quotes That Reassure the Rude Pundit That We're Fighting Idiots:
From yesterday's Washington Times (motto: "Moonies, Republicans, what can we say? We love authority"): After a ranting litany of much-repeated generalities about Democrats and how they're oppressing the poor, poor Republicans who just wanna do their jobs, Andrew "No, the Hollywood Gossip Shit Is Just to Make a Living" Breitbart wrote, "[I]n a two-party system, the GOP will not survive if it doesn't accept the fact that the Democrats are its enemy and that it must begin to play for keeps. That means finding another Lee Atwater - only meaner - and not apologizing when we get him."

The Rude Pundit doesn't begrudge the advice - he gave much the same to Democrats. But, Andrew, dude, you motherfuckers had another Lee Atwater. His name was Karl Rove, and he made his mentor Atwater look like a fluffy kitten caressing Democrats with a dandelion. Rove fucked up your precious GOP, man, by preventing Republicans in Congress from acting like they were in Congress and not just open mouths for Cheney's dick. So, maybe, and, really, take this advice as if it's coming from someone who thinks your party is as worthless as a used condom on a gravel road, you should probably figure out how to claim a post-Bush ass kissing identity before you give the party over to Atwater III.

(Bonus quote, from Frank "My Bald Head Is My Mood Ring of Rage" Gaffney, on Obama's speech in Cairo: "[T]here is mounting evidence that the president not only identifies with Muslims, but actually may still be one himself." That's from today's Washington Times. It's like a newspaper written from under a giant lunatic's taint.)

(Tip o' the rude hat to Fark's politics page for the heads up on the quote.)