6/08/2009

In Brief: Gingrich Among the Pagans:
What a pandering sow fucker is Newt Gingrich. Somebody actually told this tubby bottom feeder that people want nothing more than a Newt Restoration. Those people have lied to the former Speaker of the House, who was run out of the Congress like a whipped whelp. But there he was, white-capped like a snowy turd mountain, at the Rock Church, which is not, sadly enough, a church for, you know, rock, but has the motto of Jesus, the Drama Queen Campfire Singalong Christ: "Growing in God's Word together, we worship, we serve, we laugh, we cry, we learn and we reach out to our world with life-transforming truth."

And Gingrich was appearing at a forum called "Rediscovering God in America," as if God was discovered here once before. Gingrich said, "I think this is one of the most critical moments in American history. We are living in a period where we are surrounded by paganism."

Fucking great going, you manipulative cockmonger. Gingrich told a bunch of people who get off by masturbating with Christ's toes that American is pagan, which can only lead to missionaries heading out into the pagan jungles of the USA to convert people like us with bones in our noses. But, fuck, if the economy continues its header into the void, it might be time to break out the giant pot and put it on the fire and get ready to dance around the stew.

(Today the Rude Pundit is traveling to Tennessee, to the Bonnaroo Music and Arts Festival.)