Why Does Conservative Spoogebucket Kevin McCullough Want His Father to Fuck Him? (With Two Unrelated Notes Below):
Here's a little touch of schadenfreude for the end of an unbelievably awful week. The Rude Pundit has had his, let's say, difficulties with conservative bag of douche Kevin McCullough. The columnist, radio host, and leader of the Musclehead Revolution writes more about latent gay male desire masked as belief in "God" and machismo than any other of the legion of latently gay males in the evangelical right. He viciously attacks women who support women's rights. He degrades liberal males with such smiting violence that you can tell: this is a guy who wants some cock. No, no. This is a guy who wants lots of cock. Wait, wait. No, this is a guy who wants to bathe himself in a cock shower of jizz.
In his latest book, The Kind of Man Every Man Should Be, McCullough addresses the dudes in the house, explaining how God wants men to act masculine and showing how. The problems? Why, feminism, gays, and liberals. And atheists. Castrating fuckers, all.
In an effort to reach out to his readers, McCullough shares a bit about his life, how his real father left his mother when he was two. How his mother remarried a man who he loved and who prayed with him when McCullough decided he was a sinner and needed him some Jesus. How his mother died of breast cancer when he was 15. None of this is terribly funny. And then...
Around about page 64, McCullough describes his adoptive father's decline into a morass of sin after the death of his mother. How he spent time with friends who were "actively engaged in homosexual behavior" (which must mean arguing over which live Judy Garland performance is best), how his father's "sensitivity" was exploited by these friends: "that tenderness became a weakness by which immoral behavior was seeded, planted, and watered."
(It should be noted here that the Rude Pundit is not making up any of these quotes or stories.)
Then his father called to inform McCullough that he was gay. McCullough, showing Christ-like compassion, tells us, "Nothing I could say would change his mind. Nothing God had already said counted. His mind had been deceived, and his heart was now hardened." You know what happened next: prayer, motherfuckers, lots of it. But apparently, even God can't overcome the desire for tight jeans, leather chaps, and a willing ass: "Dad's choice to live in immorality eventually led to an unholy sexual union with another man." Oh, Kevin, there were certainly some holes involved.
Being a man who believes in Jesus, forgiveness, and all that shit, do you think McCullough forgave his stepfather his sins? Nope. McCullough called up Dad and tried to convince him to give up the gay. When Dad said, "No" (or, the Rude Pundit would like to think, "Are you fucking insane? I just finally let myself be who I really am, and now I'm supposed to lie because you have a cross shoved so far up your ass that Christ's nailed feet are tickling your uvula?"), McCullough says he told his father he loved him, would be there for any reconciliation, but, and he actually admits he told his father this, "I reminded him that the apostle Paul instructs us to cut off fellowship with those who choose to live willfully immoral lives."
Then, protesting way, way too much, McCullough follows this tale of his father's descent into the well of the homosexual with this take on temptation: "I'm a red-blooded man who appreciates beautiful women and the joyous, near-rapturelike pleasure of sex as much as anyone else does."
And the Rude Pundit simply says about all his allegations regarding McCullough: "Case fuckin' closed."
A Couple of Unrelated Notes Regarding Markets and Palin:
Markets: Umm, can someone please tell us all again about the wonders of unregulated, free market capitalism? And how we're not a socialist nation? Somewhere, the owner of a restaurant who invested too much in the decor and not enough on the chef is wondering where the hell her bailout is. Somewhere, an uninsured man with diabetes is wondering how much that universal health care would cost.
Palin: Truly, the second half of Sarah Palin's interview with Sean Hannity is so gut-wrenchingly nauseating that you wonder if it's possible to vomit up organs and if that would be such a bad thing. The finest moment? No, not when she says she thought, when her son was about to leave for Iraq, "[Y]ou know, I'm like, man, thank God for this voluntary military that we have with America's finest." No, not when Hannity gives her another pass at the Bush Doctrine question and she still doesn't say what it is. Not any of the other lies perpetuated and mooseshit tossed. It was when she pointed to her belly and said she told her staff, "I said, you see this? You think this is just baby fat, right, from having Trig four months ago. No, it's some thick skin in there also."
Which led to the amazingly wonderful New York Daily News headline, "Sarah Palin shows off her thick hide in Fox News interview."