Photos That Make the Rude Pundit Want to Eat Caribou Eyeballs While Snorting Poppy Pollen:

There they are. Lambchop and Pinocchio, one with a hand shoved into her furry ass and the other who would fall to the ground in a heap if his strings were cut. Gams McGee and, apparently, Ben Kingsley only allowed 29 seconds of their meeting to be witnessed by a CNN producer. It was peep show politics - almost see some tit or pussy before the window shade comes down and you gotta pump more quarters into the machine.

Yeah, we all got quite the insight into how Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin would deal with foreign policy. It seemingly involves getting felt up by Henry Kissinger, seeing if being VP means one can get quality blow for Todd and Bristol from Colombian President Alvaro Uribe, and sharing a delicious danish with the President of Afgh- well, at least Kabul, Hamid Karzai.

And what did Palin talk about with Karzai in order to impress the country with her understanding of the crises afflicting Afghanistan? Karzai's son and how his name means "The Light of the House," to which Palin exclaimed, "Oh, nice." The media, which was so cute because it pretended to revolt against the ludicrous limitations that the McCain campaign was placing on it as regards McCain and Palin, was then shuffled to somewhere else to bide their time while, one might assume, Palin and Karzai sat awkwardly for a few minutes until it seemed long enough for the governor of Alaska to claim to have absorbed some kind of knowledge from Karzai.

Really, all that happened yesterday was part of Palin's makeover into the McCain campaign's whore. You see, as every skeevy brothel owner in Bangkok will tell you, you gotta fuck the whore into the girls you sell. So McCain invited Kissinger, Uribe, and Karzai to pop that Palin-foreign leader cherry. So fuckin' sweet when you get to be the first on top of a virgin. Holy shit, Kissinger must have found her asshole tight (for, indeed, a Republican rite of passage is to get your anus firmly fingered by Nixon's war criminal Secretary of State) as he talked about the endless projection of power, at any cost. How Uribe must have called her wet snatch part of the Coalition of the Willing. How Karzai must have begged her to use her mouth make his impotent cock hard.

Yes, McCain was pleased, even as his incompetent stumblefuck staff almost ruined the day by getting all aggro with the media. It takes time and a lot of fucking before a prostitute is good and ready to take on all the johns in the press.

You might be able to actually pity Palin if she wasn't such a pitiless figure herself. She should have said, "No" to McCain like most rational people without any goddamn experience would have done. Men and women have to know their limitations. And those who pretend to have none are the ones who are doomed to failure.