12/26/2007

Why Ann Coulter Is a Cunt (Eating Their Own Edition):
Because in her latest column (if by "column," you mean, "an aborted mutant, with twisted limbs horribly contorted by the poisons in blonde dye, desperately gasping to be killed"), Coulter tries to make Mike "Women Must Submit Graciously to Their Husband-Masters" Huckabee appear to be a raving liberal who parties with Howard Zinn and Gloria Steinem. And while the Rude Pundit ain't defending the former Arkansas governor who is, you know, insane, there's something just through-the-looking-glass fucked up in seeing Coulter (and Mitt "I Couldn't Be More Fucking Desperate" Romney) say, as she does on immigration policy, "[T]his puts Huckabee just a little to the left of Dennis Kucinich."

Toss into that at least three fat jokes, since Huckabee used to be a chunky motherfucker, har-de-har-har, and a good racist line or two, as in, "Huckabee has said illegal immigration gives Americans a chance to make up for slavery. (I thought letting O.J. walk for murdering two people was payback for slavery.)" And, by gum, you've done your writing for the week.

One of the best bloodsports in politics occurs when conservatives eat their own. And seeing Coulter and Rush Limbaugh attempt to tear Huckabee into bite-sized morsels is pleasurable in a way not unakin to watching that video of a Komodo dragon swallowing a wild pig. You wanna feel sorry for the wild pig, but you really can't since, chances are, given the opportunity, that hairy fucker'd turn on you and try to gnaw on your balls.