6/16/2006

Notes on the Debate of the Damned on a Pissant Little Resolution:
God, what a punkass weenie of a resolution H. Res. 861 is. As the House of Representatives winds down its debate of the damned, as CNN's Miles O'Brien queries about the possible damage done to Democrats (by, one presumes, voting against a war that two-thirds of Americans think is a clusterfuck the likes of which isn't seen in the darkest anthill orgies in South America). It's a pussy resolution, a bait and switch, a way for weaklings to make themselves seem all big and strong. And it's gonna pass, of course, of course, it's gonna pass, 'cause the liberated Karl Rove has deemed it so. (Actually, it just did.)

First off, HR 861 is the psychic hotline of resolutions. It predicts the future in its very opening line: "the United States will prevail in the Global War on Terror." The rest of the resolution is just an "O, Hail Great leader" list of the many and sundry "accomplishments" of the war, like all the motherfuckin' elections, man, in Afghanistan and Iraq, because, you know, they've really made all the difference in the world. Then it resolves that the House of Representatives "declares that the United States is committed to the completion of the mission to create a sovereign, free, secure, and united Iraq" before once again making a prediction about the future of the war. Which war? Why the war war, the one we're fighting. That war, the one in Iraq, which is the same as the other war, the war that's not in Iraq but is being fought...where, exactly? 'Cause is Afghanistan still about terrorists or the Taliban? Near as the Rude Pundit can tell, the War on Terror is being fought in the United States, just with stupid fucking laws and time-wasting debates instead of, you know, catching terrorists.

Yeah, they're committed, these brave (mostly) Republicans, to staying in Iraq no matter how many Americans die. In fact, the more dead, the better, 'cause that'll show just how committed we are. In fact, the more money, the better. No one's gonna say that Uncle Same gives up, even when he's hemhorraging cash and blood and credibility. Did Don Quixote give up? Fuckin' never. Not until he was good and dead.

But, hey, here's some highlights of the debate of the damned over the pissant, worthless piece of shit HR 861, which put into perspective what the resolution's really about:

Republican Charlie Norwood of Georgia: "Many, not all, of the other side of the aisle lack the will to win. The American people need to know precisely who they are. If there are any on this side of the aisle who hold the same view, this will allow them to be found out as well. Then the public can decide the course of this war in November by hopefully throwing the defeatists out of office."

Republican Tom Cole of Oklahoma: "Iraq is a crucial theater. What happens there with our military, what happens with the Iraqis is determinative to the outcome; but I would also suggest that the United States is itself a battlefield, a political battlefield. The real question is whether or not we will sustain the will that it takes to ultimately be successful, and that decision will be made not in Iraq but in Congress and in the United States itself. So what we are about today is a fight, I think, that involves us on the most critical battlefield of all, the battlefield of American public opinion."

Republican Doc Hastings of Washington: "When George Washington was elected the first President there was a king in France, a czarina in Russia, an emperor in China, and a shogun in Japan. The American President was the only elected leader at the time. Today, countries on every continent elect their own leaders. The number of democracies currently stands at an all-time high, and has been growing without interruption for some time. Freedom and self-government is on the march around the world. History has shown that those countries who elect their leaders are less belligerent than those that do not."

Unless, you know, one putative democracy wishes to force another country to become a democracy. Then all bets are off.

And Democrat Jack Murtha of Pennsylvania: "We can't win this. This cannot be won rhetorically. We cannot sit here, stand here in an air-conditioned office and say we support the troops, say we support the policy. I visit the hospitals every week, and the only person to visit them more than I do is Bill Young and his wife. I see these young people. I am so impressed by their determination, and I am so hopeful we can end this terrible tragedy. When I got into this 6 months ago, I got into it because of the troops and because of the fact that I felt we couldn't do anything more militarily. We had done everything we could do militarily, and, second, because of the future of the military."

By the way, Ann Coulter thinks Murtha oughta be fragged. How dare that fuckin' guy be able to speak from his 37 years of Marine experience, huh? Anyone in the mainstream media want to make Coulter a pariah yet?

Corrected: An earlier version of this referred to HR 861 as a "bill." It is a resolution. A bill would actually make the legislators have to think about possible action, rather than just bullshit pontificating.