The Ghost of Chandra Levy:
Holy shit, it's so cool that Mary Kay Letourneau was released from prison this morning. The fantasy teacher of frantically masturbating adolescents from coast to coast is free to fuck again, and it's the front of the Fox "News" website as of 9:45 here in the east.

And, goddamn, just like a good beach read, we've got ourselves a summertime mystery a solved pregnant woman murder. And could it be any more convenient that the killer's (and victim's) name is "Hacking"? Especially considering that the murder was probably done with a knife? And the guy's a scary-lookin' bald fucker.

And the Rude Pundit just can't get enough of Scott Peterson's trial. Motherfucker ordered hardcore porn channels on his cable service the day after Laci went missing. 'Cause what else would you do after offing your wife than jack off to Anal Sluts V: The Italian Rim Job?

And, oh, merciful fuck, if the Kobe case doesn't get more interesting each and every day. Kobe groped a woman? Imagine a sports megastar doing such a thing. And the alleged rape victim? Bitch might have had sex the next day. Sweet semen-stained panties, this is only gonna get better.

Thank God and Roger Ailes for the low drone, the white noise of nonsense news that blocks out the bad thoughts, blocks out the bad thoughts, blocks out all the bad, bad thoughts.