4/22/2004

Why No Impeachment, Part 3: Business As Usual:
So there's that "scandal" put to bed - not only was Kerry a decorated and honored hero in Vietnam, but he's also credited with 20 kills. What the fuck could the right have been thinking, attempting to call Kerry on the mat about his service in the military? Did they think his records would reveal that he had raped children on the Mekong and shot their parents to shut them up? All that's happened is, once again, Bush's pansy-ass running from the Guard was contrasted with Kerry's time in the shit. Tough sonuvabitch even asked to be sent to 'Nam, so all those little right wing bitches better step back before they wanna go mano a mano with Kerry on military service. It's like comparing a semi-hot chick who loves to fuck with a hot chick who's frigid -- one may look better, but who would you rather bobbing on your crank at the end of the evening?

Will you hear anyone who criticized Kerry for not getting hurt bad enough to be called a "hero" now apologize? Fuck, no. Why? Because, for all the talk that the Bush Administration never says it made a mistake, so it goes for the Republican party (and their lackeys in the media). The modus operandi is to make an accusation and never, ever admit you were wrong about it, even when the evidence bites you in the ass and screams, "You're wrong." Look at Bill "Hello Kitty" Frist - motherfucker gets up on the Senate floor and essentially accuses Richard Clarke of perjury before the 9/11 Commission. Man, how the Tennessee pharmaceutical empire leader railed against Clarke, saying that his classified briefing to the Senate Intelligence Committee should be released to demonstrate what a self-serving, lying fucker Clarke is. Problem was, of course, Frist was wrong. Clarke saw Frist's bluff and raised him, saying declassify everything. And, last week, Pat Roberts, Chair of said committee, contradicted Frist, saying, no, sorry, Clarke didn't lie to the 9/11 Commission.

Did Frist do an Emily Latella "Never mind" before hanging his head in shame? Fuck no. Frist bored forward with all the other accusations he made, backing off of the one that might leave him open for a lawsuit for slander. Frist's spokesman said that Frist heard that Clarke's "tone" was different before the Senate Intelligence Committee. Yeah, and maybe his legs were crossed too. Maybe he had to take a shit that day and wanted to wait until after his testimony so it could be a really good, long, orgasmic, purging, cleansing shit.

The point here is this: while some Democrats have come out and said they regret their votes for the war in Iraq, admitting they were mislead and were wrong, Republicans have refused to admit a mistake. They won't do it. It's a lack of spines, sure. They have hitched their wagons to the Bush/Cheney/Rove/Rumsfeld star, and if that star falls, they go down with it. And that means that if, in any way, shape or form, they open investigations into misappropriation of funds or lies about WMDs (beyond the show investigations ongoing and to come), they will have to face the wrath of DeLay or Rove. As an astute reader points out: "the money [for campaigns] is all funnelled through the National Republican Congressional Committee rather than the individual state party orgs. This castrates the members of the House who now answer not to their constituents many, varied needs, wants, hates, desires, but only to DeLay and ultimately W." Ahh, one can always follow the money. While the Rude Pundit isn't sure "all" the money goes through the NRCC, it provides a fuckuva lot of support. (And the Rude Pundit is not naive - he knows the Democrats do the same, but with far less expectation of discipline.)

So, sorry, gang. Sorry to all those sending out all those useless Internet petitions crying for impeachment, impeachment, impeachment. It ain't gonna happen. The public needs pussy to understand it, the Republicans are queasy half-worms who won't defy their leaders, and "sorry" seems to be the hardest word for them. No one's gonna stand up to the Bushkoviks until the polls shift dramatically against them, and they realize it's time to cut and run. But we're not optimistic.

At the end of the day, if he's re-elected, Bush better fuckin' pray that the Senate stays Republican. (And if they keep pulling shit like running a conservative against Arlen Specter because he doesn't toe the line on every issue, the question could be moot.) 'Cause if not, karma's a vicious bitch. She's gonna have a payback holiday on Bush's backside. At that point, Bush'll be inviting terrorists to come into the U.S. to blow shit up trying to save his sorry criminal ass.

Tomorrow: your letters on pussy, polls, and the Presidency.