Why Rush Limbaugh Should Be Force-Fed His Own Liposuctioned Fat:
Okay, the Rude Pundit has said it before, and it bears saying again: what happens to celebrities has little or nothing to do with the day-to-day lives of Americans. It doesn't matter to the general public if Michael Jackson is forcing cancer-ridden children to anally rape Bubbles the Chimp on the back of giraffe. And Paris Hilton's "pain" is not ours. It doesn't fucking matter.
Unless it does. Unless the dirty deeds of the rich and famous reveal something larger. Like, say, Rush Limbaugh's drug addiction. While Limbaugh thrashes and burns on the air like Captain Queeg on the witness stand, the noose is tightening around his fleshy, fat-depleted neck. His doctors' offices are being raided for records showing that Limbaugh "doctor-shopped," that is, got prescriptions from multiple doctors to feed his voracious appetite for hillbilly heroin. And Limbaugh has his lawyer, Roy Black, out making the rounds of the talk shows, defending the thousands and thousands of illegal pills Limbaugh ingested, saying that the prosecutors are looking to "publicly embarass" Limbaugh. "Why is Rush Limbaugh the only person treated like this in America?" said Black , apparently unaware that the answer to that question is: "Because he's rich and white - otherwise his ass would already be behind bars for possession with intent."
Ultimately, though, the Rush Limbaugh case, for all the delightful things we can say about that fat fuck finally getting his comeuppance, demonstrates something about the right in this country. So many who would proclaim righteousness and rightness are rotten at their core. They are diseased. They are the syphilitic whores of political discourse - you pick one up because she looks good, but, fuck, the diseases you get after the fucking.
Rush will flail about until he can flail no more, when he's finally, completely, shat-upon dead as a voice. But, like capturing the local drug lord, nothing will stop until you stop the demand.