10/03/2003

It's Not the Size of Your WMD Stockpile That Counts . . .
Spinning with the ferocious action of a masturbating monkey, President Bush and his accomplices sought to portray the devastatingly empty WMD report by David Kay as justification for war. Kay, head of the U.S. team seeking those elusive tons of weapons, said, in so many words, "We've got dick. No, really. Sure, we've got a paper here that has a scribble of a stick figure with a thermometer in his mouth, and some guy has a single vial of something that might some day become something, with the use of a massive facility we can't find. But basically, really, sorry. It's buttkus." In case you haven't heard, check it out here.

Of course, the truth never gets in the way of our Prez, who says that, no shit, finding nothing means that, well, fuck, at least Saddam's out of the way. Then, bravely sticking his middle finger in the air to the vast majority of Americans (some of whom actually did vote for this 'tard) who now think their "elected" leader is full of shit, Bush added (and we're not making this up), "Sometimes the American people like the decisions I make; sometimes they don't. But they need to know I make tough decisions, based upon what I think is right, given the intelligence I know, in order to do my job, which is to secure this country and to bring peace."

In other words, "Fuck you, assholes. We'll build a fucking prison skyscraper at Guantanamo to disappear your dissenting ass if you fuck with us. Now, where's Laura with my laughing gas?"

Reasons Why Ann Coulter Is Still a Cunt, Part 3:
Because her October 2 column regurgitates the worst of the conservative media's depraved rantings about the Democratic candidates and she calls it an editorial. Oh, and she tries to be funny, like a desperate stand-up one second from snapping and going postal at some christforsaken Crackers in Paducah, Kentucky: "Democrats have been salivating over the prospect of a presidential candidate who is a four-star general – and has the politics of Susan Sarandon!" Oh, and she uses exclamation points. Bitch.