10/08/2003

Devil Delights in Dining on the Delicious Soul of Democracy (with Infusion of Republican Values):
Well, skull fuck me and call me Nancy- Arnold Schwarzenegger not only won the governorship of California, but by a margin more comfortable than the box office receipts of Terminator 3. The people have spoken, and apparently the deluded people of California really want a barely intelligible Austrian citizen of dubious morality who couldn't articulate a single goal other than the janitorial "I'm-gonna-clean-up-Sacramento," and the hypocritical and oxymoronic "We-need-a-governor-who's-not-a-politician." You know who's not a politician? My mom. Why? Because she doesn't ride around the state in a big fucking bus convoy trying to get votes and sucking at the teat of corporate money and interest groups. In other words, you trying to win an election? You're a fucking politician. And guess what? You're now responsible for something more than your next sequel, pathetic attempt at comedy, or ass squeeze.

But really, that's beside the point, isn't it? You want national implications, which your pundits and editorialists have been slavering over themselves to show? Here's the national implications: people like movie stars. They really like movie stars. A lot. And people will allow themselves to be fooled by movie stars because, well, that's just what movie stars do for a living, isn't it? Acting is lying, right? So, by extension, what people like are lies told really, really well, preferably with lots of explosions. There's no difference between an Arnold campaign speech and Bush landing on an aircraft carrier. It's a fucking lie. And you California idiots get what you deserve. Because while three more Americans were killed in Iraq and the President was threatening to cover up a major scandal, you stupid over-tanned, immigrant-abusing fuckers gave the media another excuse to ignore the real problems of your state and the country. Here's something you should be ashamed of.

On the plus side, any time a single Republican cocksucker who supported Arnold trots out a family values argument against an opponent, like all of these , and, of course, the President, make sure they're reminded that Arnold, who loved the drugs, the titties, and the soft, soft asses, had their support.