10/02/2003

Because Some Days It's Just Good To Be Alive:
And we were able to see this: Rush Limbaugh, former morbidly obese guy, is now formerly credible when it comes to talking about morality. Forget that the man met his wife on the Internet (who knows what sites he was trawling?), forget his pandering bluster, and, in fact, forget his comments on Donovan McNabb (see below). And just remember this, Dittohead-assholes: Rush Limbaugh allegedly loves the prescription drugs, so much so that he has his maid get them illegally. Imagine your hero deciding between a Twinkie and some Oxycontin and going for the little pill. Imagine him in his underwear, sagging, formerly rounded, man-breasts akimbo, as he lolls his head, watching reruns of his old television show on his plasma screen tv while his aerobics instructor wife works her jaw sore trying to mouth his withered cock into an erection. Yeah, imagine all that next time you hear his blowhard voice echoing in your woofer while you're jacking off saying, "Yeah, Rush, you're right, get 'em."
Here's the sordid details.

Rude Pundit Side Comment:
Why is it that conservatives have such pussy addictions?

I mean, we have Bill Bennett caught as a compulsive gambler for what? Slot machines? Why couldn't he have at least been a high-end poker player who knew where all the off-the-book gaming happened, where he could take on ex-Latin American dictator thugs and Russian mafia, man to man, in a room filled with Cuban cigar smoke, Romanian hookers, and tender, tender baby seal meat?

Now we have potential drug addict Limbaugh who isn't caught, pants between his ankles, injecting elite quality smack into his gelatinous thighs, or screaming in the middle of the Hamptons, looking for an angry fix. Nope. It's gotta be the 'scrips. He's no better than the crack whore on the corner, but at least his shit comes in little bottles than in baggies or vials.

Reason Ann Coulter Is Still a Cunt, Part 2:
Because she showed up at a Boy Scout fundraiser as a guest speaker and used the occasion to teach the homophobic pubescents how even batshit insane people have the right to free speech in America.
Check it out here.